Wednesday 1 April 2020

Aerating the lawn

Not All Fool's Day! Here's a bit of recent history and a reminder that I can't write something and then boot it down the road indefinitely. These absurdist sandals [R] were on special a month ago. Then things started to hot up on the external events [covid] front and I kept deferring the launch of my product review. Now is the time after the driest March since the last driest March. We've been 2 weeks without rain it's hard to remember the sogginess of February.

Damme, I'm absolutely certain that I don't need a pair of lawn aerator shoes [L for LIDL, L for Loose-the-pockets, L for Loser]. This is the most damnably foolish idea since "Six footless glasses with different coloured stems in a glass vase - perfect for parties during the festive season" that was on sale in Aldi in 2013 for  €15/six! The only possible justification for buying the spiked over-shoes is if you have a large teenager occupying your favorite arm-chair: "Here son, get these aerators on and make sure that the tennis court is ready for Saturday's mixed doubles".  Inevitably it reminds me of the absurd device for aerating the lawn which my father bought in ?1967? used once for about 15 minutes and then stored in the garden shed for the next 20 years. I used if more that he did because it made a rackety clicking sound when I ran it up and down the lawn - this was long before effective day-time TV, let alone Sonic-the-Hedgehog and GTA-V.

With all the flooding in the Irish Midlands after the wettest February since the last record wettest February, it would certain help if there was a sward-aerator which would scale up to deal with the callows after they drain out. A meter deep flood weighs in a 1 tonne /m.sq. which will effectively squeeze the air and hence the very life out of the top soil. It takes years to recover from the compression.

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