Sunday 16 June 2019

Father's Day

Always round about my birthday, which helpfully increases the likelihood of getting Cake from my childer. Let us celebrate the relentless rise of The Dad Joke, a thing that didn't exist when my father was alive: so he developed his own style.
One
Pa: Apparently an actress just killed herself.
Ma: Oh my! Who!?
Pa: Dunno . . . I think her name was Reese something?
Ma: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
Pa: No, it was with a knife...
Two
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Bob.
Thr
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
For
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Fiv
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. 
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Six
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, 
you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." 
I know he means well.
Sev
Man at a funeral: "Can I say a word?"
Widow: "Surely"
Man: "Plethora"
Widow: "Thanks, that means a lot"
Ate
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? 
Because the pee is silent.
Nin
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? 
AYE MATEY!
Ten
What's the best part about living in Switzerland? 
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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