Sunday 16 June 2019

Father's Day

Always round about my birthday, which helpfully increases the likelihood of getting Cake from my childer. Let us celebrate the relentless rise of The Dad Joke, a thing that didn't exist when my father was alive: so he developed his own style.
Pa: Apparently an actress just killed herself.
Ma: Oh my! Who!?
Pa: Dunno . . . I think her name was Reese something?
Ma: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
Pa: No, it was with a knife...
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Bob.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. 
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, 
you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." 
I know he means well.
Man at a funeral: "Can I say a word?"
Widow: "Surely"
Man: "Plethora"
Widow: "Thanks, that means a lot"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? 
Because the pee is silent.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? 
What's the best part about living in Switzerland? 
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

No comments:

Post a Comment