Monday, 12 August 2024

Caedite Piceas

I said we happy few yomped up our hill for reasons. Those reasons being that The Common was to be scored a second time for its [ecological] quality. Quality here bears only a faint resemblance to the Metaphysics of Quality in a Robert Pirsig / Phaedrus / ZAMM sense. We, The Commoners, have been incentivized over the last 5 years to recognise Value in The Common . . . beyond sending a certified copy of our entry in the Land Registry on to the EU and thereby drawing down whatever subsidy, headage or grant was currently applicable. 

Our hill, you see, is an increasingly rare example of Dry Heath: an intermediate ecological stage where full succession to dark forest is checked by the activities of shepherds and their sheep. Winter on the hill is not a place to fatten sheep: the pickings are slim and the weather can kill even without the drama of a three week blizzard. But during a long Irish Summer, the sheep can chomp through the heather while the in-bye fields are left ungrazed for hay. They also relish tree saplings and so these 'climax' species never get tall enough to shade out the under-storey . . . so Dry Heath.

The score for each Common in the currently favoured scheme for transferring money to farmers has been devised and revised by ecologists employed by The Department of Ag. They have devised an algorithm which identifies Good Things [heather, tormentil, larks] and Bad Things [erosion, bracken, invasive trees]. Things which are useless for sheep-farming, like bogs, might nevertheless score well in the Algorithm. All the features, appropriately weighted, are tallied up into a Score out of 10. Some elements of the scoring can be abstracted from a pass of The Satellite but most of them require boots on the ground. 

Incentives must be seen to have worked (or what's the point?) and that means at least two trips by The Man to each commonage in the country: once for baseline and once after the interventions. Because Ireland is a leaky place, word came down from on high that our Common would be scored on such-a-date and that the score might be improved if a) we cleared trash and b) extirpated any and all Sitka spruce Picea sitchensis which have seeded downwind of the recently felled 40 year old Sitka plantation. That might was carrying a lot of water and only 6 of us heeded the call to do something about it.

The Holy Year Cross (1950) was restored by The Faithful in 2017. For years after, the Cross was surrounded by elements familiar on any building site: a disintegrating bag of builder's sand, several ditto plastic buckets, baulks of timberr and containers for water. When four of us arrived, with trash-bags, at the summit, we found that The Faithful had been, sometime over the last tuthree years, to tidy up the job. We turned away, not too disappointed, intending to cut Sitka on the way downhill to meet the rest of Team Clean as they worked their slash-hooks up and away from the road. 

But 40m from the Cross I stumbled over two fence-posts and a raffle of rebar, electrical-wire and chain-link fence. The only thing for it was to pick it all up and de-Calvary (I was still clearly in ✞ mode) it to the waiting 4x4s. I did not break a leg or sustain significant damage on this potentially dangerous, un-stewarded handicapped cross-county yomp but I didn't pause to cut Sitka either.

The following Saturday, I went back up the hill on me ownio to make a final 🪓Sitka🪓pass. I'd rather hug trees than fell them but there is a place for selective management; like when Kiwi Sean came through our micro-forest in 2022 for some judicious thinning. I delighted to see several [native to Ireland] mountain ash Sorbus aucuparia and even some willow Salix spp getting their heads up through the heather. That's a consequence of running a limited number of sheep on the hill . . . and keeping Bob the Axe on a tight leash.

Post title references: Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius. From the chilling instructions by Papal Legate Arnaud Amaury at the massacre of Béziers 22 July 1209.

Sunday, 11 August 2024

Zon tag elf aug

Olympics? Pah! 

Friday, 9 August 2024

Jinks


My current dead-tree book is Mapmatics: How We Navigate the World Through Numbers by Paulina Rowińska. There's a fada on the ń because the author was born and works in Warsaw, although her PhD is from Imperial College London.  It's a book for those who can reliably spell retroazimuthal projection but can't remember how to make one . . . even in theory. The malevolant sprite in cartography is that the world is a tangerine oblate spheroid . . . but maps are flat - so they can be hung on walls; included in atlases; or folded up a stuffed in a rucksack.

The borders of Colorado were agreed and defined by the US Congress on 28 Feb 1861 [p.172] (with a great sweeping gesture on a desk in DC) as a box between 37° and 41° N and 25° and 32° W [from Washington!]. Surveyors were sent west with theodolites, chains and compasses to put pegs in the ground and much later more geopolitical clutter [see below], like, manifest Colorado's destiny. 

But, as Rowińska points out, those 1861 congressional straight lines are difficult to reconcile with the dirt those surveyor's boots were planted in. So on maps at the finest practicable detail, Colorado is a polygon with 697 sides. Where the Colorado border changes from meeting New Mexico to meeting Oklahoma, for example, the surveyors swooped South 150m over 1,000m to keep to the 37°parallel.

A details-chap like me will inevitably load up GooMaps and track East to see if there are any more CO=OK jinks in the line. One oddity is that there is a clear dark line on the GooMap which is parallel to, but 20m South of the neat artificial dotted line that is marked for/as the borrrder. When you get to 36°59'42.2"N 102°39'35.9"W that dark line steps 2m South and then carries on East [see Top pic]. I'm guessing that is a fence line defining a ranch which in wholly within Oklahoma and needs to be accurate because good fences make good neighbours. Where US-385 leaves Baca Co, CO, the GooMaps state line is definitely not consonant with the change in the quality of the tarmac. 

Rowińska doesn't clarify that the Westings of Colorado are from Washington (nor does Congress specify where in DC is the start point). If we take those measures from the Greenwich meridian, The Colorado rectangle almost exactly comprehends the entire Azorean archipelago 36.5°–40° N & 24.5°–31.5° W. If aliens set their landing coordinates on Greenwich (as intergalactic visitors might) they'd find that "Colorado" was unexpectedly a) flat and b) plooosh!

20 pages further on in Mapmatics, another geopolitical qualification might help. In a chapter on the coastline of the Alaska panhandle and its borrrder with Canada, it is asserted that Alaska and Russia are separated by 55 mi = 89 km of the Bering Sea between The Seward Peninsula and Чуко́тский полуо́стров = the Chukchi Peninsula. Maybe so, but the political border is much much closer (4km) passing through the Diomede Islands.

There's lots more in Mapmatics. I'm not much better informed on the four-color map theorem [bloboprev] by Chapter 5 How to Simplify a Map. But I learned something new about Gerrymandering [bloboprev], not least that the original Gerry started his name with a hard G. And if you're a fan of Numb3rs [we are] Chapter 7 has some interesting background on finding serial killers with math. Recommended; there are not too many graphs and maps, so could be done as an ear-book. Yes it exists in that medium: not in Irish Libraries yet, though.

Wednesday, 7 August 2024

Rockie Cake

Part of my adoptive US family (4) have moved back to Colorado. They (there are six in my generation) all grew up in Michigan but liked to acknowledge that, in the 19thC, they came from the same Townland as we now reside. I rendered them, particularly their Mère, a trifling kindness 20+ years ago and they've been visiting ever since. It's nice to know that me and mine can find a cup of tea and a sandwich in several widely scattered locations across the contiguous 48 states. Anyway, Coz Tom and his 3 generation family are back in the Rockies and their youngest member had a birthday at the end of July. As is my wont, I facetiously sent them a picture of an extravagantly decorated cake in lieu of an actual card.  Tom replied "Thanks again for thinking of us and wish you were able to bring that cake in person. Looks delicious!"

That tumbled me down the rabbit hole of memory to baking Betty Crocker cakes in Boston 40+ years ago. I did so make from-scratch cakes also but baking cakes straight from a packet - just add water and 1 egg - was/is part of the American Dream. One of the intriguing / evocative aspects of reading the packet was special hoops that people from Denver had to jump through lest their cakes failed to rise and/or experienced a soggy middle. Denver is affectionately known as The Mile High City because it is 1,600m above sea-level.

Because air pressure is lower, cakes tend to be fizzier, boiling temperatures are lower and liquids evaporate faster, and you shouldn't follow the standard recipe. The scientists at Betty Crocker give some hints about what to do above 3,500 ft = a tad over 1,000 m. The atmospheric issues require some of:

  • less fat
  • more flour
  • more water
  • more time

But the exact details are probably too much for the average recipe-following cook to work out for themselves - and why re-invent the wheel? 

But here's the thing, I went for a yomp up our hill (1500m horizontal; 300m vertical) for reasons with 3 other people, two of which were struggling [1 sinus; 1 smoking] for wind. I'm good for that but the ould knees are less resilient than they used to be for the downhill. Just getting to that elevation (500m) let alone Ireland's highest mountain Carrauntoohill (1040m) requires exertion. Our effort occurred on Dia do Santiago a date notable for aspects of pilgrimage and at least one member of the party crossed themselves discretely for/at/to the Blessed Virgin: perhaps in gratitude for not pegging out on the way. Meanwhile Coz Tom and his family are cruising to the Mall (and adjusting their cakes) without a bother at 1,500 m.

Monday, 5 August 2024

The (h)ears have it

Last time I wrote about hearing aids, they were called deaf-aids and I was quite cross. The, yet more retro, ear-trumpet [R] is what passes for great gag gift for that old person in your life on Etsy. As I said last time, hearing loss is no great gag: it's not about the loss but how you deal with it. IF you no longer go to the pub (or wedding receptions, or soirées, or birthday parties) because you won't follow the chatter or [you believe] your friends and relations will tire of your wha'? your please repeat and your pardon? THEN that's a hearing problem. Hearing loss is also associated with the 3 Ds: depression, dementia, death.

Until my late 40s, I'd been fine without glasses. It's just that my arms weren't long enough to get the print of the book in focus . . . by which extent the font, though crisp, was too small to see.The Beloved made an appointment with 'her' optician. I tell ya, when the opto slotted +1.0 lenses into the test rig it was >!kaCHING!< like seeing The Lord. I R older now 20+ years on, my glasses are up to +3.0 and stabilizing so it's time to move onto the next sensory modality. I'm a bloke, so of course my hearing is fine: in the same way a little light incontinence is fine, high cholesterol is fine, 2x [but not 10x!!] the safe levels of radon is fine, a little iodine131 is fizzy fine.

The Beloved, like most women of the caring generation, is less complacent about things that you can remediate. And she may have been getting narked at my failure to acknowledge her dulcet requests from downstairs while I'm in the shower. On Wednesday two weeks ago, we both went by [her] appointment to the audiologist at Hidden Hearing in Carlow. It was interesting and informative and we've both come away with a "within the normal range" base-line audiogram. With the over-sharing that is characteristic of The Blob, here's mine:

The normal range is getting most of your frequencies hearable at less than 20 dB. As we age, it is the high frequencies that degrade earliest and mostest. Kids (some) can hear bats echolocating at >9KHz adults not so much. If all your frequencies are greater than 60 dB then seek professional help! You won't have to go far, anyone who can generate an audiogram like mine, is probably a competent professional in the field. On dit que normal conversation takes place between 40 and 60 dB. The grey shaded area is known [technical term] as the speech banana. One of the points of interest is that sounds which issue from human lips reach the ear at different frequencies. Older people are less likely to hear (high frequency) voiceless fricatives like math, mass, paff. My left ear is kinda crappy in the 3 kHz range where t and k is heard. The graph is generated by my response [or not] to pure sounds at the shown frequencies . . . at different energy = dB levels. We might get a slightly different result if I took the test on a different day or before lunch but this audiogram will act as a baseline . . . "come back in 12 or 18 months or if you sense a change" said the audiologist. 

That was not the UpSell I was half expecting after the family's experience with Lennox nine years ago. "my" audiologist explained that, with hearing aids, it takes two to tango: they supply the tech; the client supplies the engagement. It's all at nothing unless the client buys in, uses the device and sees hears an obvious benefit. The company will suffer reputational damage if they sell their system too early: they sold me these things, I've mislaid them twice, I was fine without them at Marie's wedding, blooming boondoggle if you ask me.

Get your hearing tested, you won't regret it. I said GET YOUR HEARING TESTED!!

Notes to Old Chaps. You will have noticed that your pinnae [the flappy bit on the side of your head] have been sprouting peculiar tufts and stray tentacles of hair. This novelty is a natural consequence of changes in concentration in your endocrine system. It's yer 'ormones, mate. Not just the testosterone, but also the various growth factors which have tirelessly maintained your arms at the same length these last many decades . . . and ensured a characteristic pattern naked ape of fur all over. Some areas are tuftier than others since puberty. Your audiologist will have a peek in your ear . . . they will also (because they can) over-share the view on a screen. Let me tell you, whatever kind of lawn you're maintaining outside, it's a jungle in there!

Sunday, 4 August 2024

Sunday Four Corners

Verrry interesting

Friday, 2 August 2024

Hot consumer reports

Two kettles, both alike in efficacy,
In fair Na Déise, where we lay our scene,
Old kettles have sprung leaks and scalded hands,
And so have been replaced for price not mean.

I've had occasion in the past to laugh at the pretensions of stuff shops like Hardly Normal. They are happy to retail products whose utility has been blizzarded by additional bells and whistles which jack up the price and are a breakable hostage to fortune. It's not as if, when it inevitably breaks, anyone can fix the little engine which raises a toasted slice of bread with the stately majesty of Botticelli's Venus rising from the waves . . . instead of s p r o i i n n g the slice up and onto the floor like normal toasters.

The Shagsperian parody above is to say that we recently stopped using our old kettle when it habitually left a puddle on the counter and bought a new Bosch kettle. Not to be outdone, Pat the Salt's gaff subsequently purchased a new RussellHobbs kettle . . . about which I immediately made disparaging remarks. Blackening their pot kettle without looking critically at our own choice. The most obvious who needs this? complication is that Pat's kettle requires the user to punch 3 buttons in a particular order in order to start the device. ffs, a PIN code for your kettle? But what you're doing is 1) readying the system 2) steady: setting the desired final temp 3) GO. As if people have been crying out for a kettle which will switch off at 80°C. 

Now I have for sure used a kettle to warm some water - prior to adding sourdough starter and flour, for example, but I've gauged the temp with my pinkie [the cleanest of my fingers]. In fairness, I have proposed that different hot bevvies infuse best at different temperatures: maté = 80°C, coffee = 90°C and tea > 95°C . But most users most of the time just want water as hot as poss as quick as poss. Our kettle draws a frightening 3kW of power so it raises ½ lt of water from RT°C to 100°C in 90s. Which makes it about 60% efficient.

Both kettles have incorporated a silly window in the side-wall. Did I say our last kettle leaked? This was the point of failure. It is too murky to easily read the water level for those with aged eyes who may wish to minimize the amount of water boiled to save the planet or their pocket. So XX for both brands on that.

Russell Hobbs has a metal spout which heats higher than 100°C so that the water spits because super-heated when poured out so X.  Bosch makes the spout out of plastic whc steps round this problem so unless I'm told that the plastic is leaching BPA into my tea, in which case X.

Lid is Massive Fail for Bosch.  You can't open it without pressing a spring-loaded bound-to-fail-sometime button in the handle X. You open the Russell Hobbs lid by opening it with one finger (or three) hoiked under the lid-lip, so . Thing is that designers design on the assumption that engineers will conjure up solutions which are robust; whereas the finance department wants engineers to be cheap. And there you have your thumb on scale of the effects / consequences of capitalism.