Friday 5 May 2017

A awf'y big adventure

By the time you get to read this I shall probably be on the high seas wrapped up in a blanket watching the coast of Wexford fade into the distance. Knowing my tendency to lose my lunch while at sea - preferably over the lee-side rail so the seagulls get the second-hand benefit of my breakfast - I shall be wrapped in a blanket somewhere aboard with my eyes closed. When the good ship Isle of Inishmore pulls into Milford haven between St Ann's Head and Sheep Island:
I'll be confident that the sea will be calm enough for me to start lunch. I'm going <far far TMI alert> to play nursie for my aged mother who had cataracts scraped off a week ago and needs drops to lubricate the eyes 4x a day.  I shall be wearing starched white overalls to cover my capacious bosom moobs and serve as an attachment site for the little upside-down watch which nurses squint at while taking the pulse. A matching starched white bonnet with a conspicuous red cross will complete the ensemble. There may be other kit at the bottom of the dressing-up trunk but the starched overalls and cap is all that really matters. Shame really, the theatre will be largely wasted on my mother what with the iffy eyes and all. You can see that, like Peter Pan, I never grew up, especially in the presence of my Mum: hence the awf'y big adventure title.

You may bet that my mother has no use for broadband, so I won't reply to many e-mails next week. I'm hoping The Blobot has been programmed to deliver copy every day all by itself.  The rate of typos will likely increase but I won't pick up on the complaints until I get back . . . and then as usual I'll ignore them.

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