Wednesday, 22 November 2023

Growing a smallholder

Just finished earbooking Kurt Timmermeister's memoir How To Grow a Farmer. KT started off running a famous Seattle hang out called Cafe Septieme. He took care of his employees and served lattes and brioche. In 1990, although his business was going really well, he wanted to dig deeper into the food business - more pasture and less plate. He contacted a realtor on Vashon Island [R] and fell in love with 4½ acres = 2 ha. of brambly jungle surrounding a dilapidated chicken coop and bought his weekend getaway before property prices went mental.

There is nobody on the planet who is less capable of running a small-holding than me, but we've been pursuing a similar fantasy over more or less the same time-scale; more or less the same distance South of Dublin as Vashon is from Seattle.  I coulda been a contender: I coulda grown baby lettuce and shipped them to City restaurants at dawn. But I was /am a) risk averse b) undriven c) better at computers than carrots. Timmermeister is the opposite on all these axes. His farmlet has more than doubled in size and he's tried all kinds of ways to make it pay. But he's been at the other end of transactions as a restauranteur and is sensitive to what the market will bare. Industrial veg, grown at scale and picked by The Undocumented, is not as healthy or as tasty as his dew-picked sustainable produce. But many retailers will judge that industrial is good enough for at least some of the stuff they purvey. Home grown tarragon is more likely to get a reasonable return on the growers time, potatoes not so much. Honey, hams, and harissa fall in between these extremes.

Chapter 4 documents KT's journey with bees make honey. His version seems quite capital intensive, each Spring he orders up a nuke from a wholesaler in Iowa. The bees go to work, KT provides a place to store the honey, in supers as the original frames get filled. But he has no compunction about taking all the honey at season's end because he has no intention of sustaining the colonies through the wet cold Seattle winter. It is more cost effective to start afresh each year with a new queen and a few handfuls of workers. On the basis of this report on the beekeeper's lived experience I was going to rec the book to The Beloved who has aspirations (and all the kit) to embrace apiculture.

Whoa! A later chapter goes into a similar level of >!TMI!< detail about home-butchery. For sheep and small goats, it is possible to kill, flay and butcher the beast with just yourself, a rifle and a very sharp knife. For 220lb = 100kg hog, let alone an adult cow, you really need help. I'm just too young (and toooo middle-class) to have lived in a culture which fattened, slaughtered, butchered and salted a pig or two each year. KT, likewise; but after one of his milch-cows broke a leg in the pasture and the mobile butcher was about as unavailable as our dentist, he learn on the hoof and had a stab at saving the carcass. It was a lot more trouble to dig a massive hole to bury poor Daisy.

Nowadays, KT and his pals make a meitheal of it. He has built up a network of trusted friends who will rock up on a designated winter Saturday and fall to. Each person owns a subset of the tasks required and the rest of the team trust that feller not to screw up. All the tasks are essential in that failure to do that thing with timely resolution will make everything a lot more difficult for everyone else. One of the team is designated blood-boy, for example, they have to get a bucket under the upended hog to catch the makings of black-pudding. At the other end, bum-boy is required (really sharp knife in skilled hands wanted) to cut  r o u n d  the anus and tie off the gut inside of the sphincter. A mis-nick there and coliforms are everywhere - perhaps irrecoverably. 

There is discussion about whether children should be present at any or all of this process. Nobody asked that question hereabouts in 1954! Killing Betsy was a routine, and relished, part of the farming year. There was no place for passengers. If you wanted bacon on your plate, you had to help put it there. If kids nowadays are too squeamish to see a chicken killed, then it's fine to go vegetarian. Indeed we should all go vegetarian. Shrink-wrapped pink slabs in Tesco hides a world of pain, exploitation and abuse.

I really enjoyed this as audio; reader is Ax Norman.

Monday, 20 November 2023

Going electric

We live remote, but we also live disconnected: don't go to Mass, don't go to the pub, so we get the gossip (and the funerals) a fortnight too late. A new chap has blown into the valley and it's been on my mind to call in with a slab of flapjacks to say hi-and-welcome. But it never happens. Turns out he's an engineer with a grá for solar energy, batteries and electric vehicles AND he's running a course on those matters sponsored by the ETB = Educ Training Bd. Because of isolationism, I missed the first [Solar] and second [Storage] sessions but made the third about electric vehicles.

The market is really moving [ho ho] and what I "knew" even 5 years ago is irrelevant today. In 2014, I ran a conference at The Institute, and one of the participants asked if there was an e-car charging point on campus. I didn't laugh in his face, but the question was so far ahead of the curve as to be science fiction in the Irish Midlands. And, no there were no charge points on campus: for an Institute of Technology, it was galling how the cheese-paring administration stifled any of the will to innovate or lead the technological way for the community. In my 2014,5,6,7 head, the price of a modest electric car was €40,000 compared to the €6,000 which I'd paid recently for my little red Yaris aka does-the-job commute car. Accordingly I continued to drive the Yaris.

Seems that, because the steep decline in e-costs, the tipping point [petrol v elect] price for wheels is going to happen in 2026. Silence SO4 costs €17K today! Thereafter e-cars are going to be cheaper to buy . . . as well as saving the poor weeping planet and its poor coughing asthmatics. And improved tech is going to accommodate a wider cruising range for each battery-fill. But the reality is that current tech serves the real world pretty well even now. My commute to work was 40km there and 40km back: well within the capacity for charging at residential prices at home.

The charging network infrastructure in Ireland [and Britain] is woeful! Not only is it a long way between points but also the charge point is likely to be banjaxed when you arrive. But with planning, you can drive across the country topping up as you go. When we lived in NL in the 80s, there was a public service announcement regularly on the wireless: "twee uur rijden; kwart uur rust": every 200km you should be stopping for tea and a pee and a stretch. Charging tech is trending towards customer convenience so much that it is now almost possible to plug into a 350kW charger and get enough juice to take your car to the next station 200km further down the turnpike. When you're gonna need another stop anyway to shed the last load of tea. One of the lads on the course answered my €€? question by sharing that the station at Arklow - halfway to Dublin - sells car-charge at 86c/kWh compared to 34c/kWh at home. That's a mark-up but still competitive with petrol prices.

As the talk went on I had a peculiar fantasy about The Pony Express where the cargo [letters and one rough rider] discarded one exhausted horse at the end of each section of the route and jumped on another nag for the next leg. IF, charging was going to delay progress beyond tea-break time THEN why not swap out the tired battery and plug another full-charged one in. Because <ahem!> LiO car batteries weigh in at 400kg! Better to keep transferring electrons, boys, much less likely to induce a hernia. But check out the SO4 video two paragraphs ago. That is powered by a pair of batteries [R] which come with wheels and a handle so it can be removed from the car and swapped taken into your 3rd floor flat for charging.

All kinds of nifty ideas are ready for implementation. Why not start charging cars-at-home at 0200hrs when the grid is cold - that will help even out the load:

The power-stations have to work 24 hours a day but it helps if anything that can draw load at off-peak times does so. BUT, human anxiety wants to be able to get to the hospital, the ice-cream parlor or the down-town riot at a moment's notice; therefore a) charge the car to 50% capacity as soon as you get home and b) fill it up later when electricity is half price. Obvs this, or any other preference, can be programmed into the system without requiring addition agency by the shagged out office-worker kicking back in front of the telly with a couple of beers and a pizza.

Next week: purchasing power of a community embracing solar all together!

Sunday, 19 November 2023

Stormy

This year, we're already 4 storms down [Agnes 27Sep, Babet 16Oct, Ciarán 02Nov, Debi 13Nov] in less than 3 months with Debi blowing through last Sunday night but tracking more or less N of us and heading for Scotland today. Ciarán skirted the coast to the South and heading up La Manche. The Atlantic is so fizzy hot that this Winter we're expecting at least some of Elin, Fergus, Gerrit, Henk, Isha, Jocelyn, Kathleen . . .

Friday, 17 November 2023

Brady punch

Our central underfloor heating failed irretrievably many years ago, so it's work to be comfortable downstairs except in high summer. Accordingly, when Dau.II was resident up till recently a) she'd cook dinner b) choose entertainment and c) we'd sit in a row on the broken sofa eating a) and watching b). One season of Taskmaster featured Fern "never 'eard of 'er" Brady oh naaaw a Scots writer and stand-up hailing from Bathgate. There are quite nice sections of Bathgate, which is about halfway between Glasgow and Edinburgh, but Fern grew up dispossessed in the other part. Being assigned female at birth AFAB is a known handicap but happy girls can make the best of it by conforming to gender expectations: following the right bands, reading the right [fashion] mags, putting out . . . without, like, being a slag aboot it, getting married before falling pregnant and changing your fuckin' name while you're about it. Young Fern couldn't do any of that because she was autistic, so couldn't process the social cues to know what the expectations were, let alone sink her individual self to follow along. As a small child bright lights, cheap fabric, challenging food, pretty much any unexpected change in routine; were any-and-all of them likely to trigger a meltdown. A meltdown was likely to involve a lot of screaming, punching doors and stuff-destruction. The sharp-object self-harm came later.

As you may imagine, this was a massive pain in the tits for everyone in young Fern's orbit notably her nuclear family who had their own issues with social and financial deprivation. Aside from the challenged and challenging social issues, everyone recognised that Fern was bright as a button and read a lot of books. With increasing self-awareness, Fern was better able to conform to expectations by aping what went down in stories. She couldn't read faces or body-language or exclusionary codes but books taught her what to do - sort of - almost within the normal range - when in company. Of course, in a just society, Fern's divergence would have been recognized by her family, help would be at hand from competent social workers and psychiatrists, and accommodation could be sought. In Bathgate in the 90s? not so much. Or maybe not: her findings are that GPs are hopeless at coping with mental illness especially autism in females. And psychiatrists are not much better - perhaps because [see category binning in para below] autism is for boys. 19 y.o. tiktokers are the GoTo source for information and strategies because it is their lived experience.

How do I know all this about "never 'eard of 'er" ? Because, again on Dau.II's rec, I've just finished Strong Female Character, Fern Brady's interim autobiography. Interim? because she's still 30-something and we expect further great things from her. As a comic in Britland, the big break-through comes when you can land a few panel-show gigs on the TV. Everyone in media is for diversity but the hiring-and-firing still rests in the hands of left-leaning Oxbridge establishment types. You might think - see Venn diagram above - that Brady would conveniently tick a few div-boxes but it turns out to be an embarrasse de richesse. To play the Scots card you have to have a North Brit accent but the limited imagination of BBC directors second-guessing the expectations of the Great British Public needs the token Scot to be also overweight and boozy. Brady also plays an LGBT+ hand, but all BBC gays are either campy chaps or brosse-haired dykes - anything else provokes cognitive dissonance and makes the [Oxford-imagined] audience uncomfortable. Women can be a bit sweary but they defo have to larf at the blokey-jokers.

By reading a lot of a wide variety of books for social cue clues and with careful coaching from Conor, her Irish feller, Fern has been able to crack the code and burst through the glass-ceiling . . . to capture a spot on Taskmaster. It has been hard work. Richard Herring [BA Oxon. 1989] asks about that. Oli Dugmore [BSc Cardiff 2015] at Politics Joe ranges wider on inclusion and stereotyping. As Michael Rosen and Richard Osman concluded [last para], you can rise to the top as a mediocrity IF you went to Cambridge. If you [had to] work as a stripper to put yourself through college THEN you have to be The Best and work hard to get a seat in the recording studio.

Wednesday, 15 November 2023

What shall be saved?

Did I mention doom-scrolling about the seismic shenanigans near Grindavík on the Reykjanes peninsula in Iceland? I did. And not that Iceland, Dr Hilarious! It's been clear for a couple of years now, that tectonic plate grinding has stepped up a notch in Reykjanes. It was only when the best geological data and their interpretation indicated an evacuation in the middle of the night that international media started to notice. Metafilter was ahead of the curve and our hands have been held there by a native Viking by name Kattullus, altho he is currently resident in Finland.

One of the boots-on-the-ground journalists has been Jón from The Reykjavik Grapevine, who has been getting as close to The Grindavík epicentre as the authorities will allow. On Tuesday, 3 whole days since the emergency evacuation, residents were allowed back to their homes for salvage / triage. On the assumption that the whole town, or at least their own neat home and garden, could be  obliviated in a few minutes of hot-rock encounter. Young Jón was in the privileged, ringside, position of having his own parents retired to spend the twilight of their years in . . . Grindavík! Accordingly the took their pace in a long queue of traffic heading back into the ghost town to salve a) his uncle's car b) whatever his parents could fit in their car. They had been ahead of the posse at the end of the last week because they elected to leave before they had to leave and so had a bit more calm time to process the decision-making process. They also possessed a car-trailer! And a son with his own gaff a long way from the pulsing magma chamber that threatened to destroy everything they owned.

Having this second chance to retrieve tier-two chattels put me in mind of my favorite apocalypse book The Day of the Triffids. For 12 y.o. me, the best part is when they find a three-ton truck, drive up to the loading dock of a big department store and have to decide what to take. Jón's folks have already off-sited the photo-albums remember. It's interesting that the first thing to negotiate is broken glass in the hallway - evidence of earthquake. Then we see two of them carrying out a bed-sized TV screen and squeeze that in their hatchback. A neighbour drives by with a mountain bike on the roof-rack; another trots out of his home with a suitcase. The poignancy of the situation is captured by a zoom in on a couple of handwritten notices stuck in street-facing windows: Engi Her í Húsinu [Nobody at home] and Farin [Gone!].

I can't criticize anyone here. It's 2 months shy of 30 years when I had a few minutes to make a night-time decision about what stuff to save from an incipient conflagration. I saved two horses and one desktop computer. 

Update 0920: same day yesterday at 3pm, the newly installed SO2 gas detectors in Grindavík went off with a whoop and the police and civil defense evacuated the last 90 folks in town . . . in 95 seconds. You may fantasize about out-running lava but you can't event see SO2 [tho you sure as heck can smell it] so you might be running straight into a ground hugging pocket of the stuff. Remember Lake Nyos? Same principle. Sulphur dioxide boils out of magma solution as the pressure drops so its presence topside indicates magma nearer the surface.

Monday, 13 November 2023

Brash-hammock put to bed

In June last year we engaged Mrs Bun the Baker Kiwi Sean the Forester for the first thinning of our 1 acre = 0.4 ha. oak-and-other micro-forest. Two days work was enough to put manners on the wood and give the best chance for the best trees. It is policy to plant whips close together to force them to fight each other for light and grow up straight and true. After 15, or better 20, years the best are selected - all very Darwinian. A few thinning cycles later, "we" will be left with maybe a dozen mighty oaks and an thin understorey of fungus and shrubbery. That's "we" in a dynastic sense because it's likely I'll only see the next thinning before pushing up daisies m'self.

Sean left the triage to me. Something should be left for the fungi and microbes to break down and make food for the alpha-oaks. And some of the twigs were too twiggy to handle. In a commercial setting, we would have put all the small stuff through a chipper to max-out the surface area, greatly reduce the volume, and speed up the rot. I'm generally too mean to hire a chipper; preferring to process the brash over many subsequent days and save anything fatter than two fingers for the stove.  In one part of the wood, I created a brash-hammock of this kindling: suspending a lot of straight-enough, thick-enough branches off the ground to dry out.

'Tis the season to be burning. I was making a tour of inspection in Crowe's Wood a tuthree weeks ago and noted that some of the hammock wood was bright with white fungus and some was bright green with moss and some was regrettably black looking. The black bits were associated with little clots of leaf-fall which had acted as a sponge, slowing down the rain-water which was meant to run straight through the hammock.

The Blob has mentioned tool-use by non-human primates a) termite-picker b) status-booster. One other documented example is leaf-sponges; where chimpanzees Pan troglodytes will rough-chomp a handful of leaves and use them to sop water out of a hollow tree. Other tools include: Ant-dip, Fly-whisk, Leaf-clip, Nut-crack, Play-start, Honey-dip, Hand-clasp, Marrow-pick, Leaf-groom, Termite-fish, Leaf-napkin, Self-tickle. I think they also use leaf-sponges to scoop the last tasty morsels of baby colobus monkey Piliocolobus rufomitratus brains. Which !TMI! I share solely to emphasise the hygroscopic qualities of leaves.

It has been SO 💧wet💧 this Fall! I figured that on balance I'd get more 🔥use🔥 out of these branches if I processed the hammock and got them all somewhere dry. And it was so. Tools: bushman bow-saw 600mm blade; saw-horse; mighty anvil loppers; feed-sacks; wheel-barrow. We had a tuthree dry days, and I was down in the forest on several of these, quietly working through the stack and carting it up nearer the house. I do not, under any circs, propose to do a whole day of working ever again: an hour here, a podcast there, and lots of tea-breaks. No hurry to burn it either, once it is out of the wet; but cutting to final length [as R] increases the evaporative surface area. Scraping off the mossy wet water-retaining bark [looking at you mountain-ash Sorbus aucuparia and oak Quercus robur] is worth doing now - the edge of a brick-layer's trowel works handy.

Sunday, 12 November 2023

Sun 12 XI 23

Miscellania