Monday, 31 December 2018

De mortuis

It is midwinter, the days are short; shorter than they'll ever be - until next December. It is the time to be hunkered down by a fire, with family and mince-pies. The chicken and ham have been ate: roasted; cold in sambos with stuffing and pickles; as pie with mushrooms and a rich velouté; as scrap-fat and lentil soup; as chicken and rice soup; all that's left is the curry . . . and early next year for rissoles. But some winter-times comfort has to be parked because there are other imperatives. The most compelling of these is to Be Present if someone close to you dies. It is an unfortunate fact that winter burials are [about 15%] more common: unfortunate because the Irish sky is <pathetic fallacy> likely to be weeping on the mourners. When The Beloved's sainted mother died at Christmas time three years ago, I was fortunate to be a lee-side pall-bearer - it meant that at least my head was dry as we stepped carefully through driving horizontal rain to the grave.

On Christmas Eve this year, the youngest brother of The Beloved's oldest friend was found dead in Galway. I always think of him as Young Rory because I last spoke to him when he was a teenager and I was in my 20s. I was full of admiration when he borrowed a canoe and paddled from Dublin to the Shannon; although that was seen by others as being on the edge of bonkers. Later and progressively he was troubled and increasingly incapacitated by mental illness. With Bressie, I've reflected a little on how poorly we accommodate those with a troubled mind: too much medication, not enough care and attention; altogether best kept off the streets and so off our consciences. Not so Rory, whose family did their best with the help of regular carers from the HSE. It's just that I feel he'd have been better catered for if he'd presented with pneumonia or cancer. Whatever, he was dead and we were on the road for a Mass at Noon in Carraroe.

The interweb said it would take 4 hours to drive from our gaff to Carraroe . . . and it did. AArouteplanner seems to factor in the bumbling old dear heading into the village for some messages and the tractor hauling a load of straw along a particularly long and winding section of the Irish road network. The only time we felt we were making time was on the 60km stretch of the Motorway between Ballinasloe and Galway City. But that was only a quarter of the total trek. There's a story about a party of German tourists who were invited to spend New Year at Clifden in the West of Ireland. They arrived in Dublin airport, hired a car and drove off through the drizzle. The further west they went, the worse the weather became: drizzle became lashing rain, the car fogged up inside and all trappings of the familiar fell away behind them. Galway in the 1970s was bleak, and beyond Galway it seemed like the End of Days. At Maam Cross, a finger post pointed into the gloom "Clifden 20 miles". It was too much, they turned round and headed back to civilisation. It was a bit like that as we crawled west through the ribbon development of houses strung out so that Bearna bleeds into An Spidéal then Indreabhán and Casla and the road rears and bucks between the rocks of the bog and the rocks of the foreshore. At least it was full day-light and the rain held off under lowering clouds.

The Mass was mostly in Irish, which is appropriate in the Gaeltacht and there were other cultural differences from how it's done in the Sunny South East. The extended family were packed in 4 or 5 pews front right, the rest of the mourners filled the church from the back; that's normal. After the mass, however, the parish formed an orderly line down the main aisle to shake hands with Rory's brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. Meanwhile one sister and 3 nieces went to the coffin and sang Hope there's someone it was so affecting that the orderly line stopped in their tracks to listen. Quite right too.
One problem with the desperate landscape of the West of Ireland is finding a pocket with enough soil to bury the dead. When the medieval graveyard of Carraroe was finally brim full 30 years ago, they prospected around until they found a bleak hillside at Clynagh on the edge of the bog to the North. Thither we repaired. It was miz in the best Irish tradition; not exactly raining but definitely not dry either. The undertaker handed out umbrellas to the family and one was thrust into my hand as the men lifted the coffin from the hearse. At the best of times, I don't believe in umbrellas [all good fun until someone gets poked in the eye] and they seem deeply inappropriate at a graveside. Rain in your face is to be celebrated while you're alive to feel it; Rory was beyond all that. At most of the funerals I have been to, the heap of soil is covered with fake-grass and after a token few handfuls are thrown into the grave with some flowers everyone moves off in search of tea and sandwiches. Not so in Carraroe: the family seized shovels and and worked at the task of filling the grave, untroubled that their best shoes were getting destr'yed altogether. Part of the need for Closure was the fact that half a dozen bags were stashed behind a head-stone filled with coral from Trá an Dóilin to cover the grave.

Years and years ago when Rory was young and so were we, The Beloved and I hitch-hiked from Dublin to the Coral Strand for the weekend. We arrived after dark and after a mighty pot of tea and some food we went down to the beach for a paddle. Well it was mystic/wonderful ! The water was awash with phosphorescence: its eerie green light trailed from my hand as it was whished through the cold water. I'd never seen such a thing before but to Rory, with hundreds of Summer days of childhood under his belt, it must have been familiar as was the crunch of coral under his bare feet as he raced from breakfast to beach to the sea. Accordingly on Saturday, for auld lang syne, after tea, much chat and some food, I wandered down to the strand and picked a small handful of coral:

Sunday, 30 December 2018

It's all about I

No, not about me. We're continuing the alphabetical theme with I for . . .

Saturday, 29 December 2018

Moon rising

I'm not a person for whom Sunday [or any day] Lie-In has much appeal. Maybe there was a time when we'd spend the morning in bed surrounded by croissant crumbs and sections of the Sunday newspapers. But if those days existed in reality it was at a time when we lived in a city flat and had nothing to do but go to work, sleep and eat. Nowadays I have a protestant tendency to spring out of bed when I wake because things need a-doing. Occasionally I'll get caught by this reflex reaction and one of those was the Saturday before Christmas.

It was a weekend in holiday time, so as I fell into bed at Midnight I didn't set the alarm clock. When I woke it looked like it was dawn outside, so I flung out of bed and rushed downstairs, picking up a bowl of sourdough dough from the hot-press on the way past. I had transferred this living ferment to the tin and was half way through a cup of tea when I noticed it was 0510hrs. Dang! The 'dawn' was the last curtain-blasting rays of the setting full moon. As it happens, Dau.II was up at about the same time girding her loins for work at Cork's English Market; and she has a camera:
As I was up, I made a batch of sweet yeast bread to whc I added cherries, marzipan and almond slivers. I thought that was suitably medieve-yule for the season. But it meant that Saturday was a long time between sleeps.

The whole adventure reminded me of one night when I was walking back towards France along the Camino de Santiago. Peregrinos as a rule are absurdly early-risers. The whole train is driven by anxiety about securing a first-come-first-served bed after the day's walk. Dormitories typically start the wake-the-dead sussurrus of plastic bags being stuffed into rucksacks well before sun-up. That night I collapzzzzzzzzed on my bunk after a feed of pasta. I awoke  refreshed and energised; downed a cup of coffee [because Spain does not believe in tea] and started to get my kit together. I noticed a red glow in the sky through the door-way of the refugio against which were two men smoking. I went up to ask ¿Qué hora es? but I couldn't understand the answer "e diez y media" because it was incomprehensible to me. I had been asleep for only two hours; and half past ten at night was no time to start the day's trek.  The glow was the last shreds of sunset.

Friday, 28 December 2018

Box ticked off

One of the last activities of last term was to have a progress meeting of our post-graduate students. they are each requested and required to make a 5 minute presentation of the last 6 months work. Afterwards everyone gets to offer feedback and suggestions. One of the kids was trying to "transform" his bacterial cells by persuading them to uptake some foreign DNA and incorporate it into their genome. To do this the bacteria have to be 'competent' - they need a set of increasingly well-understood genes which allow the uptake-and-incorp of transformation. He was having difficulty getting the technique to work and had spent weeks changing the protocol thus-and-so to work out where the glitch was.

My comment was that the student could with advantage read the undergraduate thesis of his contemporary Darragh who had done his final year research project with me. Darragh had actually beaten a path to my door at the beginning of his final year saying that he was really interested in competence and transformation and would I supervise his research project in that area. We agreed that he would, from the literature, compile an inventory of all the genes known to be necessary and sufficient to establish competence. And then check to see if named bacterial species had the kit or didn't. And it was so. I acted as an occasional foil, but Darragh owned the project and comprehensively motored through the task list. What this suggested was that unless your test bacteria had the tool kit (and you can check the inventory with standard computer/internet tools), then the experimenter was at nothing trying to transform the cells. If the struggling student carried through the Darragh Protocol, he could quickly establish whether his task was even possible, before he wasted even more reagents trying this and that to make it 'work'.

Five days later, I went to 'work' on the Tuesday before Christmas: I did shuffle some papers but I shuffled more tea and coffee. There was a missed call on my fancy works Cisco telephone; it came from Shering-Plough / MSD down in Cork and was <synchronicity alert> demanding a reference for the bold Darragh. I called the number back and it went through to the MSD switch-board. I found out that served 1400 people but the switch transferred me to the number which had dialled me and I came back to the robot "press 1 for an extension; press 2 for a cheese sandwich; press 3 to talk to a person . . .". So I was a little pissed off until I noticed the red light on Ms Cisco which indicated voice mail and that led me to a mobile phone number. The woman at the other end asked me if I found Darragh  to be competent. Competent? I launched into a slight ranty explanation of why competent didn't cover the extraordinary dedication, originality and drive of the said Darragh. I kept going even though the telephone started to ring at me: I have a policy of never answering a phone if I am talking to someone else. When I drew breath, I realised that I was talking to the wall because the line had been dropped.

Eventually she called me back  - her phone had run out of charge - and I quickly established that she knew no science so I was at nothing trying to explain in detail just how clever and useful Darragh was.
"I suppose you want me to answer all the standard HR catch-all questions?" I asked.
"I'm not HR, I'm An Administrator" she replied.
But whatever her title, she did just want me to tick [Y]es to
Does he keep good time?
Is he a team-player?
Can he work unsupervised?
It turned out that he was already hired by MSD and this whole interaction was about putting him on the permanent  payroll. His line-manager knew Darragh much better than me and in a job-appropriate setting. But the poor bugger couldn't just sign his Effective onto the pay-roll; he had to have his opinion independently validated. But not in a meaningful way that might expose Darragh's limitations or indicate his true talents. The MSD Suits had a written a SOP for hiring and promotion which included calling their HR robots "Administrators". What a waste of time and energy, it put quite a damper on my work-day until I went off to meet someone else for coffee.

Thursday, 27 December 2018

Leave it to beaver

Beaver: Castor fiber [example R] not Jerry "Annoying" Mathers. Big things are afoot in the hills hereabouts. The Big Friendly Giant BFG = Blackstairs Farming Group has landed €1,500,000 to investigate sustainable solutions to the management of Ireland's uplands.  It's quite the project - 5,000 hectares, divided up into 44 commonages incorporating 250 commoners who have rights to the mountain. These hills have been lived in by people for at least 5,000 years: our ringstone is about that old and is only one of several examples of neolithomania in the area. But it probably hasn't been upland heath for all that time. The neolithic markers of the ringstone lived in a forest which blanketed pretty much the whole island. Many of my neighbours shop in the medieval town of Enniscorthy down in the flat-lands astraddle the River Slaney 15km East of here. The town entrance nearest to us is called The Duffry Gate [Dubh Tír - the dark country].

"The mountain didn’t get that way without work". The landscape grew to look like it does now  because the farmers could get more money from mutton and wool than they could from timber; and when the timber was gone, they dug up all the accessible peat for fuel. Species which supported, or at least didn't interfere with, sheep did alright, others maybe not so good. It used to be good shooting country and every 12th August, guns would go up stairs looking to bag a few grouse Lagopus lagopus scoticus. But that's all over now. Grouse do well a) if you don't shoot 'em all and b) if the landscape is managed to suit their particular needs. Something changed on our hills from about 25 years ago that put the grouse off their feed; or at least off the hill. In searching for our sheep this Summer, I've been up-starting a slightly smaller moor-land bird the golden plover Pluvialis apricaria. That species is also on the conservation concern red list in Ireland.

I heard that, with €1million+ sloshing around the landscape, there might be jobs for the boys some ecologists. Unless the Sustainable Solutions involve sheep, then there aren't going to be many folk from our townland competent to balance the rights of the mollusc pearl mussel Margaritifera margaritifera against those of the angiosperm tormentil Néalfartach Potentilla erecta. In any case, I went off to talk to some local ecologists in case they had a nephew in need of a job. I used to share a house with two long-haired botanists who were strong on oak woodlands. But my local ecocontacts lean more towards hydrogeology and the impact that running water has on the landscape.

I was chatting to one of them at the end of term Christmas party at The Institute. He told me about a fascinating consultancy that he'd been involved in. If there is any sort of a spill of rain building on a longish wet spell, then the town of Graiguenamanagh gets washed out. Last major case was 3 years ago under the impact of Storm Frank. The problem is the Duiske: a tumbling mountain stream that rises on the sides of Mount Brandon and hits the River Barrow at right angles. That stream was early seen as a source of hydro-power and suggested the site of an ancient Cistercian monastery. The town grew up round the abbey and Main Street runs parallel to the stream. Buildings have appeared on both side of the stream which is now confined in a sort of open drain.
Too much rain and the water bursts out through the shops [R Jan 2016] to shoulder its way down-hill along the street. It is too late to remedy once the flood waters arrive at the town limits. My geo-engineering friend had advised them to encourage the water to dissipate its energy on the face of the hill.  "They've re-introduced beavers in England" he said; to let a potent image sink into the heads of the county council. Nobody is suggesting bringing beavers to Ireland - there is no evidence that they were ever part of the Irish fauna. But maybe some holding dams could be installed across the water-courses on the hillside above the town. Please make sure that they are properly constructed because a dam failure is far worse than any floods which occurred before its construction - ask Dolgarrog. It wouldn't be as a big a project as Oroville, but a series of dams has the capacity to even out the flow of water so that it is Goldiloxian = just right for almost all the time. Heck, they might even be induced to produce a bit of electricity.

Wednesday, 26 December 2018

customer service

I'm blessed with two daughters so different in looks and temperament, as to make us suspect that one [or both] of them had been swapped into their cradles by the fairy-folk. On Christmas Day in the morning, the baby Jesus wasn't the only one wrapped in very little. Just before Noon, about 200 people stripped off and strode about in the surf at Tramore strand until their feet turned blue. Probably 5x that number stood on the prom in their overcoats watching events unfold. Dau.I was game to get allll wet with her old man; Dau.II was more about minding their outer garments. But those differences may be as superficial as judging them by the colour of the eyes.

As I wrote in May, book-worm Dau.I was early on marked down to work in a library or, at a pinch, in a school. She is now fulfilling that destiny: critiquing the Dewey Decimal System; stopping people eating their lunch into the computer keyboards; culling books for discard; suggesting books for dyslexic children, thanatophilic Agatha Christie fans and precocious 12 year olds. Knowing her father, for Christmas she gave me a little hand-bound booklet of Essays about Librarians which she had culled from the interweb. It was flattering that she included my own tribute to one of the profession. Another essay was about the questions a librarian has had to field when she was installed behind the Reference Desk. Obviously Dau.I felt a frisson of empathy for those experiences. A perennial question is when a patron tries to locate a much loved book [try sources] while s/he can remember neither the title nor the author . . . but is certain about the colour of the cover. That task is, on the face of it, damn-foolish but a good librarian who cares about their craft (and has read a helluva lot of books) can probably abstract more information and may even be able to locate the book.  Dau.I told me a great synchronicity tale a few weeks ago. Having spent chunks of her childhood on the Waterford coast, she was well aware of the Missing Postman of Stradbally. Re-shelving a trolleyful of books she came across a copy of Fachtna Ó Drisceoil's book on the story. Before lunchtime the same day, a chap from Roscommon dropped by asking in very general terms for such a book which had been recommended by a friend. Dau.I could not only identify the book but could put her hand on it without checking the catalogue. Rosco was amazed at this near miraculous "instant gratification" solution to his query.

You might think that working, like Dau.II, in a delicatessen is as different from librarianship as a CD player is from a tricycle. But as both of the latter work because of things that go round, so the different professions of the two sisters have a common theme of service and empathy. In the run up to Christmas Dau.II has been selling the most fantastical quantities of cheese, paté and salad. Daily she has been dealing with people who are unbelievably ignorant about food even as they shell out wodges of folding money to buy some. "That Cashel Blue which is like Gruyère . . ." the only thing those cheeses have in common is that they both came through a cow's teat at an indefinite time in the past. But when asked "I want the goat's cheese that catches you gk gk gk in the throat", Dau.II is on message: she knows exactly what that customer is trying to articulate because she's been there all too often herself. If they've run out of one variety on Christmas Eve, she can find the client a nearly-right substitute. Usually the nubb-ends of cheese are recycled into quiche the next day, but with a three day holiday this doesn't work. We had a wonderful range of cheese varieties for Christmas and Stephen's Day: snatched from the jaws of trash.

Tuesday, 25 December 2018

Christmas morning

By tradition we should really be tuned into the family this morning. But I acknowledge that you may be alone all day, or prepping to go join the family. Maybe (this is an outside horse) The Blob is a regular part of your morning routine, like eating the porridge and brushing your teeth.
Other news. It is my plan to plunge nearly naked into the sea from Tramore Prom between 1100hrs and Noon local time, this day. [Last year higher tide, not me!] Dau.I that hardy annual has said she'll komm mit. If The Blob doesn't surface tomorrow, I will have gone (blue) to a better place.
Later I hope the cracker mottoes are up to standard:
  • Q. What do you give the man who has everything?
    • A. Antibiotics
  • I cried when I chopped up Onions
    • He'd been such a loyal pet.
  • Good King Wenceslas phoned for a pizza. 
    • They asked him 'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'