Friday 7 June 2013

Sou'wester cake

We went to visit the 't-laws yest-arvo. I mowed the lawn, split some logs and got a Bunter-worthy feed for my 'pains'.  Good deal for me!  There was so much "cake" left over that I was urged to take half away with me, because there's only so much two pensioners can eat.  It may seem churlish to call this gift-horse confection "cake" rather than plain cake.  But 'tis a long way from food it was r'ared.

Victoria sponge: equal weights of sugar, soft butter, eggs and flour, smidgeon of vanilla.  Combine in arcane manner.  Bake.  Fill with cream, lemon curd (sugar, butter, eggs, lemon) and/or fresh berries. Ingredients N < 10. 

Verdict: Simply, richly, gluttonously delicious.

Confiserie Firenze Peach and Passion Fruit Gateau: Cream (38%), sugar, water, wheat-flour, egg, peach (5%), glucose syrup, margarine (vegetable oil, vegetable fat, water, salt, emulsifiers, mono- and di-glycerides of fatty acids, soya lecithin, citric acid), glucose-fructose syrup, wheat starch, white chocolate (sugar, whole milk powder, cocoa butter, emulsifier: soya lecithins, natural vanilla flavorings), dried apricot, pork gelatine, emulsifiers, mono- and di-glycerides of fatty acids, polyglycerol esters of fatty acids (contains soya), modified starch, passion-fruit juice concentrate (0.3%), citric acid, lemon juice concentrate, colour (curcumin. carrot extract), natural flavoring, thickener: sodium alginate, gelling agent: pectin, raising agents: diphosphates, sodium carbonates, dextrose, acidity regulators: sodium citrates, potassium citrates, sodium carbonates, iodised salt.  Ingredients N > 40. 

The first lie is in the second word because the 'gateau' is made in Neckarsulm near Stuttgart 621km north of Firenze.  The first outrage is in the third ingredient - water - water is cheap, it weighs a kilo per liter and the gateau is sold by the weight; and there's more water in the margarine.  The first chemical solecism is referring to glucose and dextrose as if they're not exactly the same thing. The most obvious dishonesty is putting 'passion-fruit' in the marketing title when it contributes but 3 parts in 1000.  And while there are allergy warnings for eggs, gluten, milk, soya and wheat and the omnipresent may contain traces of nuts, nobody thinks it fair, necessary or appropriate to clearly inform potential vegetarian consumers that the product "definitely contains pig trotters".

Verdict: disconcerting to eat food the colour of an oilskin sou'-wester, tasty (those food engineers earn their salt as well as using copious amounts of it in their creations)

1 comment:

  1. You are a great writer but you are a liar to people who care for you. You want Victoria sponge? But you don't appreciate the good on your table as it is. Sigh..that letter said nothing of your comparing verdicts.