Friday 10 March 2023


Q. Internationalization is a very long word, how do you spell it?
A. Mondelēz! Previously Kraft - previously Blob.

Globalization means that The Market drives every cog. If it's cheaper to make Cadbury's chocolate in Poland, then Mondelēz will, for the shareholders!, sack everyone in Keynesham and employ equivalent operatives in Skarbimierz on the River Oder. So much the better if the local government offers tax-breaks and a brand new shed to assemble the Fruit&Nut. Read the LRB article by James Meek cited in The Blob above: a great polemic.

Well, The Mon is it again with another icon brand, previously associated with duty-free shops the world over and joined at the hip with Switzerland. That would be . . .

The cocoa-bean counters at Mondelēz have decided that it will suit their bottom line better if the classic Δ-shaped confection is stamped out in Slovakia rather than in Berne; where it has been made since Theodor Tobler created his sweet sweet money-spinner in 1908. To stop the debasement of the Swiss flag  and other characteristic iconography, Swiss appellation d'origine contrôlée legislation will require that the suffix ". . . of Switzerland" must go, to be replaced with "established in Switzerland". The distinctive packaging picture of The Matterhorn [incorp the shadowy bear for Berne] must go as that is too too Swiss for something now part-made in Bratislava. ¿Que? isn't the Matterhorn on the Swiss-Italian border? Isn't it really Monte Cervino? Would Mondelēz execs at head office in Chicago have the chutzpah to replace Monte Cervino with the Grand Tetons in Wyoming?  Oblig teton anecdote from Bill Bryson

Don't bother me none. I've eaten Toblerone. Heck, I've bought Toblerone when it was on special in an airport. But my wouldn't miss a beat if Mondelēz decided to chop the bar from its inventory. As these things go, the table of contents is not too complex [no Acesulfame-K etc.]: Sugar, Whole Milk Powder, Cocoa Butter, Cocoa Mass, Honey (3%), Milk Fat, Almonds (1.6%), Emulsifier (Soya Lecithins), Egg White, Flavouring (Vanillin). Just not my cup of tea.

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