Wednesday, 10 July 2024

Haircuts all round

Last week was a Festival of Cutting. Starting with getting the sheep shore at very short notice but before there was a risk of fly-strike and the other perils to which unshorn sheep are Summer hostages.

A good few years ago, we designated our four largest fields [total area 11 acres =  4½ ha.] "traditional hay meadows". Apart from making a statement in a determined voice, all that is required is keeping grazers and mowers off the meadow between 15th April and 1st July each year. The reasoning is that, because so many dicot / ungrass wild flowers blossom and set seed in that part of the early Summer, not-mowing will give a boost to biodiversity. Not only the directly affected flowering plants but any species-specific invertebrates and whatever eats / parasitises them in turn. It is quite wonderful at Solstice time to get down among the seed-heads and find orchids and forget-me-nots and clovers under the bright yellow top-storey.

Last year I trimmed the field margins of brambles and in-bleeding ferns with my scythe to encourage the mowers to get closer to the field edge. But quel désastre! the fields weren't mowed as soon as the bracken had dried off and blown away . . . they weren't mowed until October! A sorry sequence of equipment break-down, parts-unavailability, crappy weather, a dose of illness, more crappy weather, a bereavement and more rain put the hay well beyond its best-before. Indeed, a combination of spite and ignorance saw the-field-over-the-river being left unmowed at all at all. As tractorless blow-ins we are dependent on our neighbours and contractors to cut and ted and bale . . . and plough and harrow and till, come to that. 

After last year's debacle, on 1st July prompt, TB The Farrrmer  went to ask whether our most recent cutting-and-baling neighbour was up for it again. He, poor fellow, is going through the wars healthwise and is in any case downsizing as he approaches retirement. So that was a No. But within a couple of hours, possibly on account of arriving bearing cake, a new neighbourly contractor was lined up. And two days later, well after the end of any 9to5 working day [farmers, remember] a medium-to-mighty sized green tractor drove through the yard and started to fell the grass [see above L]. He finished before midnight but after we'd all gone to bed. The following evening, subcontractors with mighty-to-huge rigs came through the yard to ted [turn and gather] and bale and wrap the barely wilted grass+wildflowers:

With the tedding sprongs out-spread, the gatherer-of-windrows is almost as wide as our polytunnel but the arms fold up so that the rig can fit through a standard 12ft = 3⅔m farm gateway. If that gateway has overhanging branches, all bets are off. I was advised to trim back a rather lovely birch Betula pubescens which I had [foolishly?] planted near the gate into the Home Field. These giant machines went through that gate with a handspan to spare on each side. But, because enormous, they went about the task lickety-spit . . . not great in the corners but super-efficient on a straight run. The baler loads up two spools of wrapping plastic which are 1500 m (!) long but still heftable by one person: it's 25μm thick.

We have learned the hard soft squidgy way to insist on getting bales off the field asap after cutting. The one year we left them in a corner until they were sold / required, the getting turned that corner into a set for Passchendaele 1917 from which it never recovered. Accordingly the bales went off  that night before twilight turned to full darkness. Big sighs of relief and a glass of plonk to celebrate a timely resolution to 2024's hay problem.

Monday, 8 July 2024

De gritting

1978 is a long time ago, but I was there. Where? Working in Diergaard Blijdorp in Rotterdam. I was hired as an extra hand while we /they set up the World's Greatest Aquarium Exhibition. One of the consequences is that I know loadsa Dutch words related to aquariums, fish, water [dekruit, verversen, koraalduivel, schoonmaken, zeemen] for which I draw a blank entirely in English. Dekruit is the pane of glass laid on top of an aquarium to stop the fish jumping out and crap falling in. 

One of my regular tasks was water-verversen which required siphoning out a third of the water in a tank and replacing it with fresh water. At the same time I had to look to the water filters replacing the filterwatten = polyester batting at each end of the filter; and like the water, changing a portion of the activated charcoal with fresh. It would be a, possibly fatal, shock to the system to replace all the water or all the charcoal all at once. Activated charcoal is as much a rich microbial ecosystem as my sourdough starter.

The submersible pump at the bottom of our bore-hole finally died this Spring after 28 years of reliable service. We were a week using old-fashioned rain-water in buckets but then got a new pump + pressure-cylinder + pipes + cables + switches + filter. 

The [miserable, incompetent, acursed] original plumber (we are now on our fifth!) installed a grit-filter . . . on the line which went from the pressure cylinder to one of the sheds. Any sand in the system went straight into the house where it a) wore out the tap washers and b) covered the bottom of the header-tank with nearly an inch = 2½cm of fine white sand. It was plumber #3 who figured this out and moved the filter further up the system . . . so it actually worked where needed. It was Younger Bob who bent double in the attic one afternoon and siphoned the sand out of the header tank. There's some suction in a 6 m fall! Younger Bob also developed the habit of cleaning the filter but then stopped because a) there was no more grit in the bore hole (??) b) he was a-feared of ripping the whole filter away from the steadily greening copper pipe to which it was attached.

Seems that the grit-filter, in a recently disrupted bore-hole, needs to be cleaned about once a month. We know something is amiss when the kitchen faucet starts to wimp out to a dribble rather than a manly gush-forth. 1st of July, I was Home Alone, and went for the filter with a couple of buckets of clear clean water and a bottle-brush. The Before and After picture above shows what can be achieved with 10 minutes of gentle scrub-a-dub-dub. And yes we are back to full-pressure.

Sunday, 7 July 2024

Grifting the croft

Whaaa's happenin'?

Saturday, 6 July 2024

Proxy Vote

The country next door, still masquerading, in medieval cos play, as An Kingdom just had a general election. I was born there, grew up there, and left there more or less as soon as I was old enough to vote. After college in Dublin, and Grad School in Boston, I returned there at the age of 29, for the first of all the short term contracts along which my "career" has teetered. We lived in Geordieland for the next 7 years and I must have voted in the General Election of 1987 but I have no memory of doing so. With no help at all from me, or any of our friends-and-relations, Margaret Thatcher and the Conservative Party won a third term at the helm of government.

By the time the next election came round, we'd moved back to Ireland, and were a-voting in a pluralist democracy and a republic. But I've paid attention to UK elections partly because I have family [ancestral, collateral and descendant] over there; and partly because economic and political decisions over there do have impact over here - Brexit for starters. At the moment I have voting-age family in four, maybe five, different English constituencies. I sent them an exhortation early on Thursday morning to "Vote Early and Vote Often" and suggested [quip clipped from Metafilter] an appropriate beverage after polling might be a bottle of Sangre de Tory. I think "we" have helped to see off the Conservatives. It's hard to take the thing seriously when the results are announced [here knocking the stuffing out of Tory Leader hopeful Penny Mordaunt] by a chap in a great frilly bib like it was all a Restoration comedy ca. 1670.


At least in Stroud and Didcot, Conservatives have also lost their seats. Thanks Fam!

  • STROUD: 2024 LAB 46% CON 26% - 2019 CON 48% LAB 42%
  • DIDCOT: 2024 LIB 40% CON 28% - 2019 CON 51% LIB 32%
  • BATH: 2024 LIB 41% LAB 18% - 2019 LIB 55% CON 31%
  • HACKNEY 2024 LAB 60% GRN 23% - 2019 LAB 70% CON 12%

If you care, there is plenty of data to crunch and opinion to ignore out there. Starting with Wikipedia, whence I have culled the numbers in the list above. Here in Ireland we elect our pluralist democracy using STV proportional representation, it is not without its problems - not least round after round of counting. In the UK, they blast through, starting immediately after polling stations close at 22:00hrs, pulling an all-nighter and getting a very good idea of who has won before breakfast and everything ironed out by lunchtime. Counting efficiency aside, I'll just draw your attention to the egregious disenfranchising consequences of continuing to operate on a Winner Take All protocol in single seat constituencies. 

There is a clear trend in the data here: more votes == more seats in parliament but in the detail it is crazy unfair. Democracy requires that if more people vote for such-an-outcome, even if that outcome is contrary to my druthers, then the majority gets the win. Even if that outcome is sexist, racist, ageist, fascist or murderist. In the Election on 4th July 2024, the inequity and iniquity of the British electoral system is high-lighted by the bum's-rush meted out on the (dreadful populist racist) Reform UK bund of Nigel Farage. They secured 14% of the countrywide votes and only got 4 MPs elected . . . the same as the Greens with less than half their tally of votes. Contrariwise, the Liberal Democrats, with many fewer [85% of] votes than Reform, nevertheless got 71 seats (18x more than Reform). And the Conservatives have seen the biggest loss of seats since records began despite getting 2/3 as many votes as Labour. [note added in press, Reform secured a 5th seat late in the day; but my analysis of unfairness stands]

British rellies: you do you, of course; but surely it's time to move along from a) a Monarchy b) a manifestly undemocratic democracy c) frilly bibs and tricorn hats except in costume dramas.

Friday, 5 July 2024

counting sheep

I do this every day, several times a day.  But I certainly do not do it yan tan tethera methera pimp . . . because no spik Brythonic. Then again, there is never a circumstance in which I wag my finger going one two thr for fiv six sev ate nin ten . . . 

There was a shock of recognition when I found myself watching The Real (Weird) Way We See Numbers 16m on YT. Dunno how I've missed this Be Smart channel of Dr Joe Hanson because the fellow has 5 million subscribers and it should be my jam. That is almost exact 1 million times more than there are subscribers to The Blob. Hanson lays out the idea that we absorb a gestalt insta-clock for 1, 2, 3 probably 4, possibly 5 items but beyond that we are reduced to counting. We know, for example, that the plate with three buns is more fattening than the plate with one bun. Indeed, herrings and magpies can many manage that life skill as well as we can.

When it comes to larger numbers, you need a much bigger difference to be confident about which plate is the plate-of-power. 4 petit-fours vs 6 ditto? no problem. But 40 M&Ms vs 60 M&Ms? that is a punt that at least some of us will fluff.

Mais revenons à nos moutons . . .  if I'm lucky, the to-be-counted sheep are gathered in a shady corner burping up their cud for another go round. They like to hang out together with particular pals / rellies closer than their frenemies. Depending on the scatter, I do something like

  • 4 + 4 + 4 + 3 = 15
  • (4 + 2) + (4 + 4) + 1 = 15
  • (3 + 4) + (4 + 4) = 15
  • (2 + 4) + (3 + 4) + 1 . . . where is she? I bet she's gone all betty-no-pals AGAIN behind the gorse clump . . . + 1 = 15

(2 + 3) + 5 + (3 + 2) [✓] And, yes, I do count twice - especially if I get 15 the first time

Wednesday, 3 July 2024

Hochschule für Gestaltung

Some tags sound better auf Deutsch, oder?  We turn to German for solid - dependable - engineering - think Audi's Vorsprung durch Technik . . . although that slogan was brought to life by an English advertising exec called John "BBH" Hegarty. I learned German for a year in school and built up an impressive vocabulary by obsessive rote-learning - grammar, not so much. I clocked gestalt as one of those words like saudades and hiraeth which fails to translate well into another language; for me it means look-and-feel. Later I learned about Gestalt Psychology which values a holistic rather than reductionist [boo, science] view of the world and our place in it. Gestaltung means Design in its broadest sense.

In Hillary Cottam's iconoclastic book Radical Help, I caught a rec for Hello World: where design meets life by Alice Rawsthorn. This book is a polemic for adopting a holistic view of design. It's not enough to look sleek; things we use have to be handy, and fit-for-purpose; price is important but cheap shouldn't be in the driver's seat. Especially not if cheap requires exploitation of workers and the environment. It may be a deliberate ironic meta-comment but the book is hideous to behold! The gutter margin is a mean 18mm and the page-numbers and running titles are stuck down in there in micro-font. The outside margins are a miserly 7mm. Winnie-the-"bear of little brain"-Pooh would be at a loss, let alone Fermat with his Hanc marginis exiguitas non caperet. At least it is typeset in Helvetica.

Thonet N.14 is an iconic bentwood bistro chair produced by Gebrüder Thonet since the 1860s. It is an engineering / design marvel able to support the most capacious bottoms for long enough to down a coffee and croissant, and yet be light enough for a child to carry. But design threads through the whole life of this product. It was flat-pack 100 years before Ikea: 36 de-constructed chairs could be shipped in a 1 m3 box with room to spare for the 10 screws and 2 washers required for each assembly.

The Braun electric toothbrush, not so much? Braun coming to Carlow in 1974 was one of the early coups of the IDA. At peak, 1,400 people were employed in the town making hair-dryers. One of the reasons for locating there, then, was the establishment of the Regional Technical College RTC in the town in 1970. Braun was famous for the design of its products (shavers, audio-kit, toasters) which owed a lot to the standards and aesthetics of Dieter Rams.


But Rawsthorn faults Braun for an electric toothbrush which wrought a miracle for the maintenance of her teeth BUT shipped in an enormous box embedded in polystyrene and had no sensible end-of-life disposal protocol. Also it took 16 hours to charge the machine so that it could operate for 2 x 2 minutes each day. That's crap design because it's off-laying so many of the costs of production, distribution and disposal on the planet. It is poor design to have all your iAccessories made in the PRC and your shirts cut and assembled in Bangladesh because wages are less.

Shown left is Alvar Aalto's iconic 1933 Artek No 60 Stool. 90 years old and still supporting bottoms - with a little more austerity than Thonet No.14. That's what most of us would consider good design: "form ever follows function" as Louis Sullivan put in 1896. We just need to adopt a broader view of "good" in design generally: cost? exploitation? sustainability? disposal?.

Hello World? Stick with it. I learned a lot about stuff to which I normally wouldn't pay much attention. That's because I affect to be above fashion, trends and stuff. But if we embrace the Rawsthorn hypothesis that design is everything, then how things look becomes integral to how things work and we should accept nothing but the best.

Monday, 1 July 2024

Shorn the Sheep

Farmers are immersed in uncertainty but, like surgeons, have to live by their decisions. Actually for surgery, it's the patients who live (or die) by that decisiveness.  In farming, you may go out of business if you knock the hay just before a month of rain but nobody is going to die. Sometimes the prices at the mart seem derisory but you have to sell anyway. And sometimes in farming, good judgment and good fortune and good weather pay off and you make so much money your accountants have to dig up some losses allowable expenses, lest The Revenue takes all the fun out of your Win.

As tractorless, barely competent, micro-farmers (7 ha. 15 sheep), we are prone to a whole other layer of powerlessness. Last year, the grass (and other excitingly diverse species) in our 4x traditional hay meadows didn't get knocked till October! Irish weather runs to rain, or at least drizzle, so when a window of several consecutive dry days is forecast then everyone wants the mower, tedder, baler and wrapper in that order and Now. Mowers-for-hire would rather do big flat fields with good road access . . . so small places like ours get queued last. Then, last year, our preferred mower's tractor blew a cylinder-head gasket and was out of commission for weeks. Eventually, he had to sub-contract the job to someone else, who was fully busy elsewhere etc. etc. Consequencely late mowing, over-grazed other fields, unexpected payments. But at least nobody, and no sheep, died.

With shearing, it's a welfare issue. The price of wool is rock-bottom for the 3rd or 4th year in a row (and perhaps from here on out) at ~20c / kg - less than a tenth what it has been during our tenure on the farrrm. It's barely worth the petrol to haul the bale of fleece into the co-op for sale. But the sheep must be shorn anyway lest they pass out from heat stroke or get fly-struck or roll over get backed and unable to rise the ground. As with getting grass knocked, everyone wants the shearer at the same time and it's the same work to set up the shearing platform and oil up the shears for 15 sheep as it is for 150. 

Last night at tea-time Paddy-the-Clip, our heroic and dependable shearer from just the other side of the hill, called to say he could come, like, Now.  With the sheep-welfare issue and small-return for appearance issue, the Shearer takes precedence over tea, Dowager Duchesses, family zoom-calls, Full Colonels, favorite TV shows, Minor Eastern Potentates and The Match. Accordingly we dropped everything and mustered a) the shepherd's marker-and-meds bucket b) the longest extension lead c) my blue-marker-stained combats and . . . d) the sheep. 90 minutes after the call, the sheep were all lighter by a fleece and we were lighter by a wodge of folding money. Somebody cracked open a bottle of fine red wine to mark the occasion of getting the fleeces off before the dreaded bot-fly got on. Win!