A month ago, I was all excited about writing a column for 3quarksdaily. I asked my friends-and-relations for advice and came up with a short list of Blobby Matter, one of which I submitted for attention. The results are in from the 3quarksdaily jury, and you won't find me in the top 32. Dang! Maybe I should have sent Zatopek out to run for me. But "Tar-rah" you will find me in the runners-up. I won't blow my cover except to say that there is no Beatrice Marovich working at The Institute. And I'll also note the grossly skewed sex-ratio in the successful and almost successful candidates - 4XY:1XX. I guess women have a better life to lead rather than hunched under a blanket over a small table clattering out the blogomatter. Or maybe it's mainly blokes who read 3QD? Lots of untestable hypotheses there. It means that I'll have more time to devote to you Dear Reader. I've been keeping back some cracking material for Operation TopDownStrange.